MBTI – INTJ in Love and Marriage
The result is an individual with a highly developed imagination and the ability to apply detail to visualisation, thus bringing into being original and practical solutions.
The INTJ individual is best suited to science, and while many believe that the scientist deals only in facts, it is the outstanding scientist who uses imagination to extrapolate possible interpretations of data as well as find commercial and industrial uses for new discoveries.
The INTJ develops precise structures in the brain from early childhood. This means that information is extremely well organized. They can analyze compare this information with ease as a result of this highly organized structure.
They also retain new information with ease. INTJs are highly competent people and are often gifted. Even if she knew that the change of plan wouldn't be very popular and might cost her her job, she would still go ahead and change the plan. That's because INTJs believe that what they're doing is right. If authority tells them that they are on the wrong track or that they should back off, and the INTJ feels that 'the boss' is not right, the INTJ will simply ignore authority and go right on doing what they are doing.
This makes them immune to corruption because they are not concerned with either what people think of them or what rewards they get. They are concerned with what will get the system working. INTJs have little respect for authority. It's another point in their favour that ensures that they will do what is right. Ninety-six percent of humanity as Milgram showed shortly after WWII will do something instructed by authority even when they know it's wrong.
An INTJ will not. INTJs are rare in that while they know what they know, they also know what they don't know. Ask most people a question and there will always be an answer, even if they don't know what they are talking about. Ask an INTJ a question and they will either give you the right answer or they will say, "I don't know.
So is the INTJ lady intimidating to those around her? She can be - but only because her serious demeanor is misunderstood. It's no accident that INTJs are excellent writers.
They can convey meaning easily and clearly. This is partially because they thoroughly think things through before attempting to explain them, and secondly, it's because structure is part of their lives. So they're really good at the structure of language. I'd also include Michael Crichton and Robin Cook. Romantic Relationships Are Difficult Romance tends to be sparse because these private, formidable women are not comfortable with flirting.
An INTJ female would rather treat all potential romantic partners the same way they'd approach any professional relationship. INTJs can fit into other classifications as well. They do not have identical points of view or values on all things.
For instance, while most INTJs will tend towards atheism, not all will, and some have strong religious beliefs. They are also the most likely to be skeptics and humanists. Some will be warriors while others will be pacifists. Their interests can vary, and they can sometimes thrive in 'people-jobs' like marketing and sales. It just depends on whether they have developed those skills or not.
INFJ female dating INTJ male
Female INTJs don't flirt or join the crowd. They are more concerned with getting the job done than with soothing people's feelings. This does not mean that they have no feelings. They can, and often do, have very intense and deep feelings. It just means that they truly don't think that their feelings are relevant or anyone else's business.
Yes, INTJs are very private people, but more about the feelings thingie. Let's say that the president has called a meeting about an end-of-the-world scenario.
Each person invited to attend is a specialist in their field. One of the female delegates is pregnant, looks ready to give birth, and appears quite green about the gills. Most people in the room will enquire after her health. The INTJ will completely ignore the personal situation the pregnancy and instead ask for the report. This gives an impression of insensitivity. However, as women are often expected to be the nurturers and communicators of the community, the INTJ woman is at odds with the norm.
INTJs are the most private of all the different types. As most women tend to share virtually everything of their private lives with other females, the INTJ female runs into difficulties. She will not discuss her private life, gossip about other people, or reveal much about herself to others.
Other women take this as a sign of unlikability because, generally, the only reason a woman won't speak to another woman is because they are disliked. In the case of the INTJ, this is not so.
They are just deeply private people and won't share with many people, friends or foes. I've always felt uncomfortable calling attention to myself-dressing sexy, being very flamboyant, etc. I am very good at pulling people together at work to get agreement on things we need to do. I am not the one who divides and polarizes at work anyway. But I will stand up for what I believe not a push over. When someone proposes something I really disagree with I will go talk to other participants and get their agreement rather than fight it out in a meeting.
I'd rather not deal with the drama. Sometimes the comments become overwhelming and I take time off. I like being alone. With books and the Internet, I'm never truly alone.
As a matter of fact, I just don't like drama and have learned to identify it early. Early in life I was drawn to drama, but then I married it and was totally exhausted. Personally, I also don't like discussion and drama.
INTJ Female / INFJ Male - the unicorn combination of relationships?? As an INTJ female, I am the rarest type of female and my boyfriend is INFJ, the rarest of all the types. Essentially, the two rarest personalities coming together and working harmoniously. I am dating an INTJ male and I am a INFJ female. I am 34 (divorced 2x) and I can honestly say I have never been happier. We just get each other - good and bad - and allow each other to be who we are independently and in the relationship. Wish I would have met . Sep 14, But I can see that my female INTJ friends and colleagues really struggle to be understood, so I decided to recruit expert help in the form of career coach Penelope Trunk. Trunk is an ENTJ personality, the INTJ's extroverted twin. She also has one of the largest followings of female INTJ readers of any blogger in the world.
I prefer to work with people who are in agreement with me rather than with people who aren't. It's just too much drama. Likewise, if I see a post or come across a world view I don't agree with, I just won't comment.
I tend to be data oriented, and willing to change my stances based on the truth of the data rather than just ideology, and I'm comfortable at working with both the mythic and the scientific, literature and physics. I always seek the truth on the ground rather than trying to make reality fit my biases, and then working from that groundwork.The INTJ-INFJ Relationship (Type Synergy)
Although you will find other tests online, even if they're based on the official assessment, they're not the same as the Myers-Briggs. The only way to be absolutely certain whether one is an INTJ is to take the official test. If you follow the link, you'll find options to take it online or on paper and a list of certified people near you to interpret the results. This means that the INTJ person won't take advice from others or go with the crowd for the sake of ease, being liked, or keeping peace.
In other words. The last thing an INTJ woman is is submissive. For many men who expect to take the leadership position, especially where religion is concerned, this is a huge stumbling stone. Some men have asked me how to make an INTJ women fall in love with them.
In other words, they want to know how to attract an INTJ female. Because she is a very private person, it takes a while to get to know them. So step carefully. Here are some points on how to make an INTJ women fall in love with you.
So now you understand why the INTJ woman is so different to other women? She relates to others in an intellectual and objective way. She is an independent thinker, and she doesn't want your advice. She's highly competent, and when she discovers that you are, too, she will open to you.
Of course, an INTJ woman is not everyone's cup of tea Quote: INTJs live in the world of ideas and strategic planning. They value intelligence, knowledge, and competence and typically have high standards in these regards.
Black 0. To comment on this article, you must sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account. Even as a little girl I was better soothed with evidence than reassurance. Several of her kids tried to tell me it was ok, not a big deal, etc. Drama drives me nuts too. Other women are tough for me, even thinking types, but they tend to be overall easier to deal with than feelers, but at least Fe types tend to try to be nice enough.
My closest female friend is an INFJ. Thanks for this post. My goodness! Ms Schlesinger! Your article has changed my life. Just wow.
Not just me, it changed my best friend's as well; he is a dysfunctional genius. He is actually mad at me now because he can't try to change me anymore. He could not believe the words on the page either; as far as the exact description of me. I was just floored as I read. I could not have written a more perfect description of myself. It was really enlightening and world-changing for me. I love being alone but for too long I was pulled by that societal norm that I needed to have a partner and more friends.
I am finally getting to the point where I can completely except myself for who I am and this article makes me proud instead of worried that my constant focus on reason is not an option. I can now understand that most others just don't use reason and my constant pleas have no effect. What a relief; for them and me! INTJs are pattern recognizer. We like the Big Picture. We gather facts, evidence, and statistics and build a big puzzle in our minds of how the World works. Facts we find interesting will be grabbed and placed into the puzzle.
The older I get the more complete the puzzle and the easier it is to understand new information. This article is one of those milestone puzzle pieces for me. I have fit it into its proper place in my mind and life is a little brighter now. This stuff can really help with understanding others.
Also a stunning lesson for me. If anyone is interested go look that up. It is a helpful way to understand MBTI. Preference for thinking is amazing at analytical work, but not so much in relationships. I don't get on with other women, they find me weird or indifferent or whatever, even when I try very hard to fit in.
So I live on my own without any meaningful friendship. I am not 30 yet so I don't care that much I hope some day I will find like-minded people. I have ISTJ sister she is smart but I can't talk to her about my ideas, theories, she likes just practical, tangible things. SF temperament is the worst for me and sadly most women are SF type. I guess feeling means liking working with people, thinking means liking working with things.
Because most women are SF types they are nurses, teachers, nannies, hairdressers and that's why they earn less than men. I have read than INTP females have the least gender earnings gap and women's salary is almost the same as men's. I would rather be unemployed than become hairdresser or nanny voluntarily! Yup, the smaller the population in a country, and the more retrogressive the country is, the more difficult it is to find like minds. For me, the greatest experience was Google Plus on the day it started.
INTJ women came out of the woodworks. It changed my life. Unfortunately it now no longer exists, but I have maintained contact with them. They are 'emotional. I think that most 'thinking' women have problems in life because most of women are feelers. Introverts have harder than extroverts especially in the most extroverted country - USA. And I think that people over IQ have also harder than 'normal' people. I am quite lucky because all my close family is full of thinking, high IQ intellectual types, but talking to other people is hard.
Especially women seem so insecure, compliant, sweet, children-like, submissive and outright retarded sometimes Long time ago I was feminist and believed in equality but I have realised that most females are average IQ ISFJ and ESFJ and have no inclination towards abstract thinking and creation and they always will be victims of so-called patriarchy, because of their wife submissive nature.
Oh, I disgress Sorry for my English I come from small retarded country from Europe. Hello fellow INTJs! While it was interesting and very informative to read about the INTJ personality, it was much more liberating to read the comments of real human beings for whom these character traits are personal. At the age of 30 I had an identity crisis. I thought "could it be a middle age crisis?
But it wasn't. I just could not fit into any group and that non-belonging was not very pleasant. My retired psychotherapist neighbor straightened by mind in 10 minutes! One simple phrase "you are an amazing person, you should not try to fit in, other people should consider it a true gift should you choose to be friends with them" fixed me for years to come.
I learned that other people's opinion of me is non of my business. I am very fortunate to have one true friend and I am happy. While we can be most diplomatic in our interactions with people we must understand that people get intimidated by our mere presence and our outlook on life. I am confident that many great independent thinkers and pushers of the progress of the civilization are in fact INTJs.
You cannot be one of those people and be a part of the herd. On the top of the mountain there is not much space for herds, but for single individuals or that limited number of people united by the same idea. I am so sorry to hear this. Part of this is massive depression. It has nothing to do with being an INTJ. Nor is the lack of self confidence or shyness. I am not shy at all. Nor do I lack self confidence. What happened to you does not sound like it happened as a result of being an INTJ.
This sounds like other factors involved. You need to establish what they are. What are your home circumstances? Did you get along with your parents? Are you possibly on the austistic spectrum? I have written amore detailed book about being an INTJ women. It definitely sounds like you need some help.
Most people who become therapists are in need of help themselves. That is why they become therapists. You could also start reading some books on cognitive therapy, how to make friends, etc. I cover how to make friends in my book. I am not sure what causes shyness. I have never been shy. Fear of making an idiot of onself? I did the test thanks to one guy who with utmost fascination said that i might by an intj. I coudnt understand the system so that I started to draw a graph based on his explantations.
I was rejected by all of my peers and teachers and also my mother since kindergarten. I still fondly remember when some kids allowed me to play with them at the age of 4 or 5. I stopped playing with them and came back to my imaginary world. Other kids kept avoiding me throughout all the school years.
I was given none. I just didnt exist. I wasnt allowed to talk. I felt devastated. I started to feel despair and developed many psychosomatic symptoms. I felt so lonely that it almost felt like a physical pain in my body. I felt weak and defeated. I also have many friends there, whom I talk to, love or hate.
I live in this reality on daily basis, and for me its as real as anything could be. Its like a key of sanity that I put in a secret room and locked forever, which helps me to never give up. I am timid, shy, insecure, unassertive, and everbody is using that for their won benefit. I have. Everyday I read about global conflicts, psychology, social issues my hobbyecology, and try to understand the world that does not want to understand me.
I tried not to be hunted by memories and try to behave like everybody else, which starts to work. And I feel very lonely and dream of a person with whom I could share my happy and sad moments. The MBTI is no more reliable than the big 5.
If you want to say one lot of psychological profiling is nonsense, then you have to say that all the others are as well - for the same reason. All psychological profiling is only as accurate as the self-knowledge and honesty of the person answering them. These tests, without exception, are incredibly easy to cheat at. The idea that if you repeat the same question asking it in different ways is going to fool anyone, then I can only say that you're mistaken.
There is nothing particularly wonderful about the 'Big 5.
I'm an INTJ female, had been in a really good friendship with an INFJ male for more than 20 years before he finally asked me to properly date each other. Both of us were in some relationships before, we actually talked and shared it. He knows I was in a mentally abusive relationship, and I know he was put in a live changing decission by his ex. Jun 09, INTJ women are one of the most flexible and interesting characters of the MBTI personality types. Only ~of the human population are INTJ females, so they are also the rarest personality type. You're unlikely to find an INTJ female, especially if they don't want to be found, due to the INTJ preference for staying [ ]. Dec 12, INTJ women respond differently to being told they are INTJ than men do; Less than 1of females fall into the INTJ classification. When dating an INTJ female, it's best to give her space and treat her professionally in the beginning of the gsscthunder.coms:
The bottom line is that I have, through 50 years had most of these tests. The only one that is consistently accurate is the INTJ. Localisation of language also negatively affects these tests. I did one that asked me repeatedly if I joined in with the group. I repeatedly said no. The doctor who was testing me asked me to do the test twice because, she said that I was a 'sensitive rebel' and rebels weren't sensitive. What Dr. Schwartz got wrong was that I'm South African - not American, and in South Africa, we are taught to do what is right and not to do what the groups says.
In America, the word appears to mean a social group or a work or any sort of group where refusal to join is construed to be a negative trait. We are to stand up to the group. In another one of those tests, I was asked repeatedly if I kept going to a doctor and was then told by the medical professional there was nothing wrong. The assessment of the psychologist, based on this test, was that I was a hypochondriac. Except that I eventually found out I was wheat and lactose intolerance which none of the doctors ever tested for.
Then there was the employee test that I did at JC Penny. Apparently, according to the test I was a Type A personality. Because when the test asked repeatedly in different ways if I was always first in my class. The answer was yes.
Only the designer of the test assumed that I must therefore be competitive, and work hard to be first.
Nothing could be further from the truth. The lowest I've ever scored on an IQ test is 25 points above genius and the highest I've ever scored is off-the-graph. I never ever bothered to do any work. I'm not competitive in the least. I don't care. It's just easy for me. So much for the accuracy of that test.
So why do INTJ and INFJ get along? Whether it's an INTJ woman and INFJ man or INTJ male with INFJ female or everything in between, the INTJ INFJ love match has a lot of promise. Here is a look at 6 cts of this pairing that might explain the INTJ INFJ attraction and why these types can go well together in both friendship and dating. Feb 13, Greetings! So, I stumbled across this forum when I was trying to read more on what's stated ^^ I'm an INFJ female who has been dating an INTJ male for several months now. Feb 18, Female INTJ, in the early stages of dating an INFJ male. 1. I stopped trying to read him based on the MBTI months ago lol. I just can't. He's an entirely new specie. 2. We laugh a lot and like corny jokes or silly stuff, but appreciate witty respo.
As for your coment about armchair psychologists, may I suggest that anyone who doesn't have the moral courage to give their real name when posting criticism doesn't have any credibility. I appreciate what you're doing here, and it could be helpful for similar people to hear about MBTI helping your feelings of being weird or misunderstood. But the article and some of the author response comments are rife with problems associated with the online MBTI community.
You have armchair psychologists expounding how great MBTI is, while the whole theory and assessment are not scientifically reliable or valid. Which is fine, it could be used for fun, but should not drive a significant part of your identity or self image because it is bogus according to psychological scholars or researchers.
Unfortunately people become attached to the descriptions, which honestly are more like stereotypes. These same people tend to get purity complexes about their types where they get upset when another person, say a fellow INTJ, doesn't fit their own subjective and arbitrary criteria for INTJs. Do not use this as if your personal experience constitutes the entire type. Your pregnant woman example, while I understand the intention, is again too specific of a scenario, yet you'd use it to type someone a determination entirely unrelated to any MBTI assessment questions.
Also, typing someone based on a short comment in response to an article is ridiculous as it could not possibly provide enough information.
A better psychological assessment is the Big Five, as it is considered valid in legitimate social sciences research, unlike MBTI.
I really needed this at the moment. As much as I like to be alone most of the timeI do not like to feel lonely. I cant explain how I can walk in a room and "see" things that others cantwhich does seems like common sense to me. How a " meeting of the minds" can take hourswhen it can problem solved in half the time. I am 48 now and would love to be in a convo with other like minded people, for the sake of my sanity!
Love this! When my husband was in community college learning about all this stuff his prof. I'm so glad he did! No one understands me as well as another INTJ. So little needs explaining. I tested as an INTJ female about five years ago. I have found it to be a blessing and a curse. For so many years, I wondered why I had such a struggle with different relationships.
How could it be that I had such a different opinion about almost everything from anyone I know. My results and learning the traits explained so many things for me. But at the same time, traits that I don't possess, I thought well maybe the test was wrong. But one trait that is more outward to me is analyzing before reaching a conclusion. Like one of the responses noted, we all have different backgrounds that we are coming from. I enjoy these articles because I can learn more about why I am the way I am.
But I feel just fine about not having certain traits. We have a rare personality, but I like the idea that not completely conforming to the traits of that personality makes me even more rare. At the risk of being told I cannot be INTJ, because some of my thoughts are incomplete, I wanted to share even though I am short of time.
I have loved getting to know this information because it has helped me understand myself a thousand times better than I did prior. But I refuse to fit into a box of what i am or am not expected to believe or act like. Yes, I just ended that sentence incorrectly, but am not quite sure of the perfect grammar.
I came across this article by chance but glad that I did. Jone's statement about drama and solitary. I love it. I just need space and become grumpy if I do not have it. When I was younger I loved being involved in drama but marrying my husband has its own shared drama which has put me off from other people's drama. It drains me. Anyone who shows the slightest amount of emotional output or lack of containment, I stay away.
It is quite sad as an INTJ female, and it took me a while to come to terms with it, because unless you know what to look for and explore your own mind, you will feel like this need to fit in just for the sake of fitting in. As a child, I was always the eccentric one or the extremist. No one could ever relate to me on a level that I needed them to relate to me. So I was always cast out and it hurt. I never displayed any emotions but it stung.
It's not until I got older that I stopped caring and began to study astrology and Myer-Brigg personalities that I realized why I was the way I was and that it was perfectly fine. We're the ones who get the job done when no one else will.
It doesn't matter if you agree with it or not, because it's for the greater good. I have learned to be extremely selective with those who do not share the same sentiment as I do. It's saved me a lot of heartache and disappointment. I am curious how an interaction between other INTJ females would be like. I wonder if we'd all get along. Thanks Tessa, I think you did an excellent job. You summed up my thoughts on that scenario perfectly.
Think KitKat must have eaten some sour grapes that day. I would be rather annoyed if any person came to a meeting when they knew they were ill and weren't intending on hiding it.
I'd see that as intentional attention seeking and rather quite annoying. I've had 5 pregnancies. Thank you Ma'am. I can completely relate. I am just wondered as I read the complete article as if someone has read my mind and drafted it in page. I sometimes feel it difficult to survive with unique characteristics but inside i feel so happy because I know I posses different master qualities. Thank you so much for providing direction and as I was not into such MBTI things before but this read makes me feel really comfortable.
If you had been, you would have understood what you read.
Let me quote the sentence to you. I wrote that the INTJ will ignore the situation - not that she didn't notice the situation. These are different things, and an INTJ would have noticed that immediately. Adults are supposedly able to make their own decisions about being ill.
They stay at home, go see a doctor, decide whether they can cope or not. If a woman is pregnant and at a meeting, then she has already made her decision to be there. An INTJ respects her professionalism. She does not anticipate that the woman requires emotional support.
In case you're unaware of it, researh shows that task orientated people are still more successful than people orientated people. Nor are INTJs 'lower in empathy. INTJs just keep their feelings to themselves, and they expect wrongly that the rest of humanity have some sort of emotional maturity, i. When one constantly needs emotional support from others, it means one is emotionally fragile emotionally immature.
And when one contantly thinks one has to validate others so that they can return the validation, it means one has no sense of self and no confidence in who one is. Certainly when one doesn't pander to the emotional fragility of others, it does mean that it is diffiult to work in some groups. Followers take orders. Leaders give them. You state " Yes, I have been told I am a know-it-all. This is generally by ignorant people of average intelligence.
INTJs have sufficient knowledge and intelligence to know how little they know. That does not mean that they don't know more than most people. The two values are not mutually exclusive. One can know more than others but be aware of how little one knows. You might like to read through my reveiws and see how many people think I'm a know-it-all. I spent a lifetime punishing myself because I didn't pander to the vanity of those who wanted attention and affirmation.
Those days are gone. I add value to life through my articles which have helped millions of people during the past half century.
So what are you suggesting? That we do what we've done for a lifetife? Screw ourselves over? Blame ourselves? Try to be something we aren't? In most of the world, INTJs are highly sought after. Having a 'high Emotional Quoitent" just means one is sucking up and brown-nosing in other words, manipulating others in order to get what one wants.
Writing that an INTJ would not notice a sick pregnant woman during a crisis meeting supports some misconceptions I commonly have encountered. Chiefly, the idea that being naturally lower in empathy means having none and the idea that preferring to keep emotions private, while also being subtle in the external expression of them, means lacking them. Being viewed as robotic emotionless and unconcerned with others low in empathy makes it more difficult to work successfully in group settings and sets an INTJ in leadership up for a much harder time than a personality who is more naturally imbued with people skills.
While there are many wonderful things about this personality type, we set ourselves up for a harder time when presenting the personality type as a know-it-all or borderline psychopath by nature. This is a great analysis of the INTJ female. I'm an INFJ myself so although one might think they are similar since three of the four acronyms are the same they really are quite different.
It is also quite rare to be an INFJ. Thank you for sharing what you have learned! You must be distressed indeed. You can be both a rare personality type and mentally unwell; it happens to more than just one of us.
I found the article very helpful and enlightening. How delightful! I enjoyed the extra. That isnt as clearly illustrated in other blogs and postings. I think, since INTJ women are so rare, the "outline" description isnt always a rule. And we INTJ women, as well as every personality type, should push ourselves to understand something important.
Every childhood is different and circumstances do affect approach. In order to better protect myself, i would constantly look for a perfect approach to interact with others. I taught myself social skills.
I could notice my weaknesses from a young age and so i kept focusing rather on improving them. Ive been looking through these forums in order to perfect my subject choices for university next year.
I am I have perfected intergrating into society without anyone knowing im an introvert or that i have had a difficult life. I have mastered the art of deflection. I only speak of personal experience to help the next person. I dont enjoy it. But its not a wise move to be unaproachable. We have extraordinary minds. We can smile and greet someone. It may make a difference. Especially if that person is an emotional person and was having a bad day. Its boring, yes. But your mind can multitask.
And you can train the body to appear friendly. Dont get me wrong. I dont really have any friends which Im very happy with But, it is wiser to be friendly. People lower their bariers and you can read a situation more clearly. Ive decided to finally comment because everyones comments have become predictable. For 26 years, my family have been asking what is wrong with me.
I have consulted therapists, been thrown into mental hospitals and been incorrectly diagnosed, to this day.
Through all this i found myself looking at a severe problem. The mind is not understood by the supposed healers. Because being thrown into the wrong mental ward with drug addicts and people who refused to take their medication - who saw no therapist, only nurses who forced us to behave according to an extremely small minded veiw of how we are meant to behave - I learned invaluble information on the mind. I "acted" according to whomever i spoke with as though we were the same a trick i learned to protect and collect data more effectivly from a young age.
And i saw positive results as i experimented with theories. It ended up being very rewarding. As INTJ's, we should not view any limitations.
Because there are none. We should study and do things that will make us uncomfortable and are a challenge. Because a lot is really easy for us Im not an Atheist. Its much harder trying to comprehend that which cannot be comprehended. If something is too hard to make sense of, im in my element. I have my own style, it doesnt have bright colours Its both girly, tomboyish and practical.
I like to dress according to my mood and personality. Because I am hard to understand, I wear it loudly. I love fantacy. Its a fun puzzle game. The core of an INTJ will be the same.
However, we all have our own angles and are still different. We are picky. Steriotypes need to shut down. Its annoying. I like to decorate my space in a particular way I will find a use for anything as waste is, well I honestly couldnt care what the lable is.
I just wanted two answers. What to study, and an explaination of "whats wrong" with me so my family can get off my back and listen to me. Because I am so close to a seamingly "Random" outburst because I have no space and im being criticized constantly for doing things my way, completely disregarding their methods. Because their methods arent good enough and will cause future problems.
I think, personally, it would be nice to connect with other INTJ women. It would be nice to feel understood, but more importantly i really want opposing conversation that has been thought through to the depth and detail i have thought it through. I dont want confirmation. I want a challenge. But i like having those conversations in person because typing is irritating.
I do appreciate this posts extra detail. However, my only critique, find INTJ women with different "kwirks" first. Then have a discussion about the differences. Ask why and how it came to be. Sharing personal information for a greater cause is easy. Just talking about ones life, for the sake of talking is a waste of thought, mental space and time. Its not a therapy group. Its a study group for more depth. Because ive BEEN researching! A space where we explain how we differ from the "guidline" of how we are described and why, what lead us there.
We already innately know ourselves. We shouldnt look for a gold star. We should raise awareness. It might help a lot of children and parents better assist and parent. It will help schools, businesses everyone if awareness of who each person is, and how to best communicate with each personality we come across and which approach to take. Some people are just being medicated for their personality. I lost track of time and didnt sleep for three days, i was talking to myself and got lost in a debate with myself and all the paradoxes of every beleif and religion.
Trying to mathematically simply it all down and find an abstract approach to blend them together. I had fun. I have adhd and insomnia. So, I had a great time. And others would view this as crazy. While they're doing the types of drugs that leave permanent damage. Instead of saying the basics of INTJ's we need to dive into this personality with more depth. For the sake of our sanity and privacy and peace. Tell me how do my family accept that there isnt anything wrong with me and im not throwing them away or depressed because i like spending so much time in seclusion.
And their assumptions about why, are annoying. Inaccurate and insulting. And ofcourse they dont understand how its insulting. Because they fail to think about what they are saying or hearing it. Luckily Im not going to stay with them any longer and I will go back to living on my own. But, guys Not for us to understand ourselves Think of the children guys.
So many parents need to be educated because, I'm in south Africa. Smaking your child is not illegal. And respect is something that older people are owed. And it cannot be questioned. Perfect for us INTJ types.
INTJ Female Percentage : Four INTJ Women for Every Women
Wouldn't you know! I'm not a freak after all. One thing I'd like to know though. Are there any INTJs out there who are nurses? I feel like I'm a work in contradiction. I like being a nurse but I also often feel like I can't deal with people. It seems though that most everything said about INTJ is true in my case. Tessa, thank you for this article.
Any thoughts on the nursing thing? I am a 50 years old INTJ. My Introverted scores are about as high as you can get. That does not mean that I hide from life. Instead, after my adventures with other humans, I go home to my quite space and recharge and relax.
I wake up everyday knowing that I am unique, I am misunderstood, and that I make people uncomfortable. So I use these natural talents to the best of my ability. I was a science teacher for 18 years. I moved to the job of principal where I am very good at analyzing teachers, students, data, schedules, rules, regulations, budgets, and parents.
I do the right thing regardless of external pressures. I am an advocate for my students and what is best for them. I do not like parts of my job, parts of my job I love. What I am saying is the label is not a limitation. Yes, I usually dress in black and where no makeup but once in a while dress up. I love fantasy novels but I get obsessed with research.
I like non-fiction that is more fantastical and don't like the Nobel winning prize stuff because it is always based on the humanities. If I have to read about the humanities, I prefer non-fiction. I'm a female INJT. I started researching my personality type because I knew I was a bit different than the average person. People don't understand how I can be both creative and logical.
I think architect is a perfect description of what it like for my brain. I envision things I want to create, and I understand that it takes a practical or mathematical way to achieve it. One of my hobbies is sewing and it fits beautifully into this. I love thinking about creating things and following the engineering and math to make it happen. I definitely like planning and order, but I feel like it gets mischaracterized as being "close minded". I like how its pointed out that INJTs are actually very open minded.
That is exactly how I operate. We are open to new ideas that are valuable. Not the case for others. I do feel like this type is a paradox that others don't understand. I definitely don't automatically abide by authority either. I make my own judgement on it. I questioned things early in life and am an atheist.
One other pecular trait I have is that I found I do not prefer to read or watch fiction of any sort. I much prefer Non fiction over everything else. I'm wondering if this is the case for other INJTs. Here trying to learn about INTJ women, where they congregate, and how to go about meeting them. As rare as they are, I figured some due diligence is in order. The comments that the article has elicited are interesting. I'm going to print it so that I can look at it in more closely when I have more time to do so.
Hey Tessa from SA, found your comments on death more interesting than most. Not the strange co-incidences you described, from an evolutionary point of view our brains always subscribe some mysticism to unexplained phenomena or mere co-incidence. We just get each other - good and bad - and allow each other to be who we are independently and in the relationship. Wish I would have met him many years ago, but happy I have him now.
Intj male dating an infj female
Yeah this is my 11 year relationship also except even as the infj, I am way less introverted than my intj husband. I always say married people should hate most of the same things rather than love most of the same thingsthis is a great example of why. Just as long as someone helps the other not be a total shut in I make most of our friends then I see nothing dark about it. I like this. He rather read on the beach than go into the jungle. I usually wish to be with someone who would pull me out once in a while.
I would say he has a lot of people in his life- but he seems to have trouble differentiating who is worth giving attention to. One of my great loves was an INTJ. The whole rational vs. Makes me miss him, but also smile and feel warm inside. Never have I fallen in love with someone so quickly. Never have I fallen for someone so intensely and so quickly. We had the best conversations just laying on the bed talking about anything from odd theories on life, to political conservations, to just plain goofy moments with him doing his funny lisp or little dance.
It was definitely one for the books. Thanks for writing this piece! Even that we are so different and the same. We have also the same personalities as you two. First of all, what a great article. So accurate. He helps me to keep in touch with my soft side, and I appreciate that.
This relationship is helping me to grow and improve, to be a better human being. It makes total sense to me why these two types make such good pairs. I think having the female be the INTJ makes for a even better partnership since that gives me a bit more intuition about feelings and him being INFJ tones down his emotional side.
We have fantastic communication, agree on almost everything and like to do a lot of the same things. Our strengths and weaknesses really compliment each other as well.
I have always thought we were lucky to find each other and even more so now that I know how rare our types are. This article helped me understand her so much better!! I felt like it was useless to be her friend. This article has helped me realize that she DOES care - she just shows it in a different way than I do.
Thank you so much! THis is so accurate! I am an infj and my husband is intj. We have been married for 17 years and together for Wonderfully written by the way. I am also an infj and the person I am interested in is intj. We seem to struggle a lot with something in particular and that is the emotional element as you said. Our biggest issue is that I seem to blow up in emotional frustration and he shuts me out completely and I have to work at getting him to come back to me and be open again.
How did you work through this in your relationship? He will come back to you and communicate in his own way, which may seem cold or insensitive to us, but they are blunt!
Hope all this rambling helps! Thank you for sharing this article and for those who gives a comment. I hope our relationship becomes better in the future. I was wondering if you could elaborate on something. Is it because of your strong feeling function? And hoe would an INTJs intuition be different if we are thinkers? Thanks very much. Give me time to move on, and just process everythingI want them in my life, they are great friends, beautiful people that both go out of their way to improve themselves and learn I find that attractive.
Yet at this stage I dont find myself ready to let go, I have even considered just being friends with the INTJ and romatic with the INFP as this seems like the only way not to loose anyone. Confused much. The INTJ is still a child with no emotion, maybe past trauma. They use people as toys, covert narcisstic tendencies.
Myself being INFJ just realised this, we make great counsellors when woke upremembering patterns of there past and reading people. Love at first sight never works, student and teacher. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.
Our test treats each type as a unique whole, and that makes all the difference. Written by Elizabeth Nichols. You may also like. View all posts.