I Want to Date My Cousin!
As to the first, that's harder. Someone answered that it is a cultural thing. I suppose to extent, that is true. Many royal bloodlines were interbred, and cousins and even siblings were mixed together.
In the US, the law forbids incest the marriage or relations of anything closer than 2nd cousins, so techincally, you are not breaking any laws. A second cousin is not that close in the tree. An interesting legal fiction. However, the final take away is this - you both need to be frank and open and of course decide for yourselves.
In the end, no one outside your immediate family will know, and no laws are broken. Even church law permitts 2nd cousin and beyond - so God will overlook it laughing. Good luck! Xper 6. Depends on what state you live in. Different states draw the line at different levels of relatedness. Whether it's wrong or not depends entirely on your local culture.
a cousin once (or twice) removed: a cousin separated by a generation (for example, your parent's cousin is your cousin once removed) third cousin: the children of your parent's second cousin; The chances are that you know and spend time with your first cousins. You may happen to know your second cousins.
In some areas it's not that big of a deal, simply because the population density is very low, and the chances of distant relation with people in the area are higher.
Lol I had a major crush on my first cousin for a long time. Its fine to have a crush on your cousin My father was having sex with my sister and she had a baby with down syndrome.
So one out of four turned out not so good. I would not recommend first cousins having children and only maybe second cousins. The rich and the Kings of Europe would try to keep the money in the family and they would marry, but then the problems came when their offspring had children with double cousins and then you get problems. With the high divorce rate it would make sense for cousins to marry if just to raise children they had with someone else.
The problem with having kids is never the kids. She or he might be a maggot and all you wanted was kids out of the deal and not have to deal with them for 50 years. So it would make a lot of sense to have children with someone and then marry your cousins.
I am Pakistani, and my uncle is married to his first cousin, and also three of my cousins married three of my other cousins. I was born and raised in the States, so I was totally shocked that this was actually a thing. Then I came to find out that basically half my friends were the offspring of cousin marriages all healthy, except two of them have ears that stick out.
The best case I can see of cousin marriage is my cousin Arman in Canada, who married his cousin Sana from Pakistan. They have a very healthy, handsome son and they are happy together.
The grandparents are so happy that they can live with their son, daughter-in-law, and grandson, instead of all alone. The worst case is my other cousin, Maliha.
Nov 25, Dating your 2nd cousin is fine because as you mentioned there's little genes in common. This is also because though they are a relative of yours, they are not blood-related to your parents and therefore you. But then again the level of incest relationship varies from region to region and religion as well. So if it's against your views than it Followers: 2. Sep 21, You two are 2nd cousins and there are no moral, legal or religious obstacles in your way, only your own fear. DO NOT let fear get in your way of pursuing what could be a fabulous relationship. My cousin has been the love of my life since I was younger than you . dating your first cousin is not even considered incest in most places, its only some states in America and I don't know were else. Where I'm from first cousins can actually get married! so dating your 2nd cousin would not be a problem, believe me but people could be mean and judge you guys always depending on where you're from.
She has ZERO chemistry with her husband; he is honestly much much uglier than her. Attraction is not only superficial; it is a biological signal of whether someone could be a good match. I think their intense distaste of each other is a sign that they are totally not a good match. The problem with cultures that emphasize cousin marriage is that it is very hard to say no, especially if there is no alternative match in mind.
This can promote unhealthy situations like my cousin Maliha is in. However, if two cousins happily like each other, without coercion, then I do not find it to be anything wrong. Well Written Article! I can say that we love each other dearly and that is what matters most. I actually think that having a blood relative family bond with your spouse makes for a stronger and more trusting marriage which is the case in many societies where cousins marry and is so lacking in western countries.
Peter, I think you comment is very interesting and right on! I think if two cousins love each other that they have every bit as much right to marry as anyone else. Well what about uncle,niece,aunt,half-sibling, your statement is partially true in india, where problems with in-laws,abuse of anti-dowry laws,drama, and clashes between tradition,modernization, have led some to make a more voluntary decision to marry your cousin.LOVE AT FIRST COUSIN
The problem with cousin marriage is not genetic. The problem is that it leads to tribalism. Countries that have widespread cousin marriage have tribalism and can never form real nation states.
Iraq is a good example. Cousin marriage should be banned completely. Your conclusion is ridiculous. Well, the effect of cousins marrying can contribute to the tribal mentality, simply put the tribal mentality exists in places where cousin marriage is predominant. I am from Philippines and I have a case of planning to marry my girlfriend who is the daughter of my uncle, my grandfather and her grandmother were both brother and sister could it be allowable to marry her here in our country from Philippines??
Is there no possible effects of having a defected child someday?? Please help me understand it will, I really need your suggestions and clarification. You know what, we have the same case.
I love my second cousin. I love her. My grandfather and her grandmother are brothers and sisters. So me and her are second cousin. I want to know if marrying your second cousin is allowed here in the Philippines. My other problem is, it is acceptable?
Do you think her parents will allow me to marry my love one? One third of all handicapped children in Uk are born to Pakistani parenst, and a large number of the parents are first cousins.
This is a great piece. I think it reflects poorly on a website to post personal critiques such as these. If anyone is mad about the article they should write their own. These people should be supporting you- not spewing sexist bullshit.
What Are the Cousin Marriage Laws in Your State?
Are we related? IM a white CanadianI married a Pakistani. One brother is a permanent resident in a mental hospital.
The father has a club handhe is 82 and is extremely intelligentthe mother is 74 and is living a horrible existence. My opinion is that yes first cousin marriage may be o. The British studies show that the risk of genetic diseases is rather 10 times as high, partly because many families have practiced cousin marriages over several generations :. British Pakistanis, half of whom marry a first cousin a figure that is universally agreedare 13 times more likely to produce children with genetic disorders than the general population, according to Government-sponsored research.
One in ten children from these cousin marriages either dies in infancy or develops a serious life-threatening disability. While British Pakistanis account for three per cent of the births in this country, they are responsible for 33 per cent of the 15, to 20, children born each year with genetic defects.
Let me add that the author did discuss this, but since its generational it could even more than say a double cousin, it could be like marrying a one and a half sibling, since if your parents,grandparents,and great-grandparents married their cousin. Is she of my same blood or not? This article was well written and interesting. The information contained within had a fresh twist on the subject of cousin marriages opposed to other information that can be readily viewed on the internet.
My take on the article is that the writer has a positive vested interest.
Thank you for putting it out there for us! Additionally, the comments made thereafter are from people who also have a vested interest, although not always positive. As a person from the United States with European ancestry, of Christian faith, and no known knowledge of cousins marrying cousins in my specific family history, from what information I have found, I believe that amongst many, many cultures since the history of all of our human existence, there have been cousin marriages.
Do your homework here people. Personally, as an over 50, divorced, mother of two grown-children, educated at the Masters level and a grounded professional, I have seen the U.
I am currently dating a first cousin once removed. Many people would refer to us as second cousins. I did not grow up knowing him.
I knew of him as a child, but then he left the area I grew up in and he became a desert storm war hero, military career man, and a mental health police officer residing far away from me for 35 years in another geographical location the United States.
Three years ago we unexpectedly ran into each other and have been getting along together ever since that time. Have we told everyone we know that we are related? You all know the answer of why we have not shared this information I have a different married name. Honestly, our lives are complicated because of our association, but also, ours has been one the most meaningful relationships I have ever had in my life.
How does everyone in our separate families handle it? That is a mixed bag with challenges all the time- most all of our older family members handle it well and want us to be happy together. Younger family members, because of the stigma that goes along with the concept handle things somewhat poorly.
Will we ever marry???? Only time will tell. We have beared a well boy kid and strong one,my quiz is,am i wrong to marry her?
Feb 28, There is nothing wrong or weird about second cousins dating. In fact, I think having commonalities within one's family tree can actually help create a stronger bond between a husband and wife. Indeed, throughout most of human history marriages bet. Dating Cousins. Is it right to date your cousin? I can't find anything in the Bible about this subject, but we are taught that it is not right to date your family. I am having a problem with this because my child is dating my 3rd cousin, and in my heart I feel it is wrong. In modern western society, marrying your cousin is not well accepted, particularly in the United States. Through a combination of old prejudices and present-day conventional wisdom about inherited birth defects, first cousin marriage is seen by many as a little too close for comfort, as .
These cousin marriages ought to be forbidden. My grandparents were first cousins.
He drank like a fish and grandmother lived in poverty all her life. He also verbally abused her. They produced one son who had the intelligence of an idiot. In his later years, he became quite the nuisance and had to go to state mental care.
For ten years, he lived a miserable existence. I know, this problem can surface in any family, but I do believe that low intelligence is passed on this way. None of his siblings got past the forth or fifth grade. Just leave the kids out of it.
Dating your 2nd cousin
I would wager a guess that the rampant alcoholism of your grandfather had more to do with the miserable lives of his wife and children than marrying his first cousin did. Chances are pretty good that if your grandfather was as much of a drunk as your post suggests that any wife and children of his would have had a miserable life anyway. Basically, it seems to me that the environment those children grew up in contributed more to their adult lives than their father marrying his cousin.
This is the exact same scenario a girl I went to school with faced - an alcoholic abusive father and a passive mother who was too scared to fight. Cousin-marriage has nothing to do with it.
Alcohol is the problem, in her case and from the sounds of it, in your case as well. This article was refreshing to read. And so were the comments from the readers. The internet is full of biases and harsh statements by people opposing marriages between first cousins.
But Its nice to see a different side. All family members are happily married outside the family circle and we dont have any difficult genetic history. My family also does not consider it a good thing for cousins to marry because of the fact that they are raised as brothers and sisters. I am an indian but I live outside India. I believe its mainly because we never grew up together.
We meet for ten twenty days maximum in a year or two and then have no contact. I could have fallen for anyone- after all I am a university graduate with very high scores and scholarships. But my choice makes me rethink my own IQ.
I could have fallen for anyone and I fell for him. We know that attraction happens for various reasons - when you find something you seek in a partner in that person or when that person helps you come out of a trauma. Both these reasons apply to me falling for him. Keeping it locked hurts because I have no courage to face intense battles that may follow after my confession.
You might say love is when you fight for the person you love or want. I believe its best to safegaurd that person from critism than be selfish. Anyway, thank you all for your reasoning and logic. Its nice to know that there may be few birth defects. It must be really hard for you. Sometimes it just happens, despite your will. Call me old fashioned and this is just my opinion, but if someone knowingly marries their kin its still incest and has a moral effect on that person.
They include father, mother, step-mother, sister, step-sister, grandchildren, aunt, uncle, daughter in law, and sister in law. Technically, this does not prohibit marriage to cousins. The fuller prohibition has come partly from a desire to keep as far as possible away from something that is spoken of with such serious warning in scripture.
Another reason is cultural. As our society has become more numerous and diverse, it has become more repulsive to us to marry close to family. It has also become a joke to put down those who were considered to be from the sticks-that is, rural folks who did not know any better.
But let us consider your particular situation. You refer to your child dating your third cousin.
Cousins usually share a common set of grandparents though it can be only one grandparent and one-half of the genetic pool.