Main -> Dating -> Kristen Roupenian on the Self-Deceptions of Dating . The New Yorker

Kristen Roupenian on the Self-Deceptions of Dating . The New Yorker

Why Did "Cat Person" Go Viral?

Where did the idea for the story come from? The story was inspired by a small but nasty encounter I had with a person I met online. I was shocked by the way this person treated me, and then immediately surprised by my own shock. How had I decided that this was someone I could trust? The incident got me thinking about the strange and flimsy evidence we use to judge the contextless people we meet outside our existing social networks, whether online or off.

Their IRL flirting escalates into texting, which becomes a date, which turns into a toe-curlingly awkward drunken sexual encounter and raises some important questions about consent.

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A quick taster of the bad sex in store: "After a frantic rabbity burst, he shuddered, came, and collapsed on her like a tree falling. Arguably the most compelling element of the story - and the reason "Cat Person" has got so many people talking - is Margot's extremely relatable internal monologue. One moment she thinks her life might be at risk, the next moment she's questioning herself and wondering what she's done wrong, while at other times the cringe-worthiest bitsshe's got the ick and pitying Robert.

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The sex scene has proven to be a particularly fruitful talking point, with many people praising Rouenian for shining a light on those all-too-common sexual encounters that aren't rape but aren't completely consensual either. Women often find themselves in situations where sex is the "polite" thing to do, but rarely do they talk about these grey-area experiences, assuming they're not worthy of critical analysis.

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A pertinent passage in the story reads: "The thought of what it would take to stop what she had set in motion was overwhelming; it would require an amount of tact and gentleness that she felt was impossible to summon.

Overwhelmingly, women have praised the story for its familiarity and for highlighting a rare-discussed experience.

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I want an investigation on how she wiretapped my inner monologue - sebastian gawker libbycwatson December 9, Basically anyone who's ever used a dating app could write Cat Person, just maybe not as well - Nancy Jo Sales nancyjosales December 11, The predominant reaction among men? Well, it hasn't been quite so heartening.

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In fact, a Twitter account, Men React to Cat Personhas even been set up to document some of the most ignorant, tone-deaf reactions, of which many miss the point of the story entirely. Roupenian said she wanted to highlight how we draw big conclusions about people from little things in the earliest stages of dating. Our initial impression of a person is pretty much entirely a mirage of guesswork and projection.

Dec 11,   New Yorker short story on modern dating receives opposite reactions from men and women. tons of women in my feed are sharing the new Author: Chelsea Ritschel. The short fiction piece made an enormous splash after it was published in The New Yorker, prompting discussions about dating, power and consent. Sections. 'Cat Person' in The New Yorker: A Founded: Sep 18, Dec 11,   A Viral Short Story for the #MeToo Moment. hi i'm halfway thru the cat person new yorker story and i'm taking a break to find a support group please help please send help i'm.

Regardless of your gender, sexuality or relationship status, you will take something away from reading "Cat Person", so if you haven't already,what are you waiting for? Want more like this? This story was ated on Tuesday January 7th at 8am: The British woman found guilty of fabricating a claim that she was raped by a gang of Israeli youths.

In subtle ways, Robert's changeable disposition makes Margot wonder if her words or actions have offended him.

Dec 12,   "Cat Person" does not bear any of the signifiers of a personal essay: It is told in the third person, not the first, and it appears in the New Yorker's fiction section, with FICTION splashed. If you're a young woman with experience of modern dating and/or bad sex, you'll want to carve out some time to read a short story in the latest issue of the New Yorker. "Cat Person" by Kristen. But unlike so many other excellent short stories about dating, sex and female interiority, Roupenian's story ? her first for The New Yorker ? hit at a moment when we were all primed and ready to talk about it. The specific timeliness of the #MeToo moment combined with the other appeals of "Cat Person" to create an alchemical Claire Fallon.

At first, she feels touched by his "vulnerability" but, she also seems to feel the need to atone somehow and make him feel better. And, the interactions are infused with an uncomfortable realism that will speak to the soul of anyone who's ever been treated badly on a date. The thought of this possible vulnerability touched her, and she felt kinder toward him than she had all night.

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At last, after a frantic rabbity burst, he shuddered, came, and collapsed on her like a tree falling, and, crushed beneath him, she thought, brightly, This is the worst life decision I have ever made! After some terrible kissing, and clumsy sex, the protagonist is driven back to her dorm.

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The subsequent sequence of events will sound pretty familiar to anyone who's grappled the dilemma of not knowing whether or not to ghost after a first date. She told herself that she owed him at least some kind of breakup message, that to ghost on him would be inappropriate, childish, and cruel.

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And, if she did try to ghost, who knew how long it would take him to get the hint? Maybe the messages would keep coming and coming; maybe they would never end. In the end, Margot's roommate sends a text on her behalf letting the guy know she's not interested and doesn't want him to text her anymore.

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The story ends with a powerful scene, in which the woman sees the man in a bar. He proceeds to send her a string of texts.

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At first, the texts are friendly, but they soon take a turn for the abusive. Some women tweeted that they felt the story captures a shared experience that many women have while on dates with men.

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Now imagining a world where women aren't socialised to placate men's feelings above her own safety, happiness and pleasure. For those of you feeling like someone stole your diary and read it aloud, you're not alone.

Dec 11,   The chilling reason everyone's sharing that 'New Yorker' story about dating tons of women in my feed are sharing the new yorker "Cat Person" story . Dec 04,   The writer discusses "Cat Person," her short story in this week's issue of the magazine. Newsletter. Get the best of The New Yorker in your in -box every So much of dating involves this Author: Deborah Treisman. Dec 11,   This fictitious story about bad sex has everyone on Twitter talking The New Yorker's "Cat Person" is causing ripples in the Twitter-sphere. By Michelle Robertson, SFGATE.

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