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7 Crucial Rules for Dating Your Friend's Ex

Dating My Best Friend's Ex-Girlfriend (Eng Sub)

It all comes down to how your friend feels about it. You were a good friend and kept your feelings to yourself for long enough. It was a mutual breakup with no hard feelings. This is the ideal situation. Go ahead and ask him out. Just ask her. Is your best friend in a happy, committed relationship?

Friends having beers iStock.

Crazy Ex Wanted Me Back After Break Up - askreddit dating story

Couples Dancing And Drinking iStock. Of course, seeing your ex with a friend could be hurtful at first. However, remember to keep the bigger picture in mind. According to Lori D. This can be extremely tempting if they ended on bad terms and you know you'll find a sympathetic ear. However, in order to maintain a healthy relationship with both of them, it's crucial that you never seem even a little like you're taking sides in their breakup or casting either one as the bad guy, even months or years after the fact.

empty can

If you need to vent about one of them, find a neutral party. Respect boundaries without making assumptions.

Dating best friends ex girlfriend reddit

For instance, if your friend doesn't want to go to parties where her ex will be in attendance, don't pressure her. But don't assume she doesn't want an invite if you haven't asked! In general, allow your friend and your sweetheart to decide how much contact they want with each other, and don't push them to associate if they're not into it.

Remember that you can love them both without them necessarily having to enjoy each other.

Is it OK to Date Your Friend's Ex?

This goes for friends and partners who haven't dated, too, now that I think of it. Set aside time for each of them and honor it - don't drag your lover along on girls' night out not even if your lover is a lady; queer chicks are so bad about thisand don't invite your friend to what was supposed to be a romantic dinner at home.

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No comparisons. Don't do this ever, but especially not if his last girlfriend is the person you're going rock climbing with Sunday. No matter what his answer is, it's going to make things weird. Besides, comparing yourself to anybody - even if you come out ahead - is always going to lead to feeling crappy, because basing your self-esteem on where you stand relative to someone else is Not Healthy.

So don't seek out comparisons, and if your dude brings up the topic, tell him you're not interested in hearing it. You and your friend are not in competition, except when you're actually playing Scrabble.

defence good offence

Don't be paranoid. Don't try to keep your boyfriend and your bud from associating because you're afraid they still have feelings for each other, and don't constantly seek reassurance that that's not the case. Trust that your dude is with you because he likes you and you're awesome, not because he's biding his time until your friend takes him back. Trust that your friend is happy you've found someone you dig, not plotting to sabotage your love.

the best policy

And don't ever use jealousy or insecurity over their past relationship to excuse irrational or controlling behavior on your part. Of course, if your sweetie gives you a legitimate reason to believe he's untrustworthy, get out of there stat, but if there's really nothing wrong, don't create problems where none exist. About a year after she dumped Tom abruptly, leaving him a sniveling wreck, I discovered that I was correct. We ran into each other at a party.

Flirting with each other was easy, taking each other's clothes off was easy, and it felt like fate - like absolute magic - and it kept feeling like absolute magic for about a month, at which point I discovered that she was kind of boring, or at least that we bored each other.

In the end, I got about five dates out of it, in exchange for an irreparably ruined friendship. Tom found out, and he never forgave me.

the punishment fit

Now, if you're sure that this is not you, that this is Real Love you're looking at, then what you have to do is tell your friend what's up. Tell your friend about your intentions, and ask him if there's any way you can make the process easier for him.

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This conversation will not go well. Because, again, you're declaring to an old friend that you're prepared to disregard his feelings. That's the truth of the situation.

There's no two ways about it.

May 25,   Dating your friend's ex could get messy, but does that mean it's forbidden? You get a new and even prettier girlfriend, or hang out with your friends more, or get into jiu jitsu or knitting.

It's going to hurt even if you say all the nice things you should say - that you're still going to be his friend, that you're going to try not to Instagram this girl obsessively, etc. Ultimately, dating a friend's ex is inadvisable. You know that.

Aug 11,   Plot twist: I am the ex girlfriend. Just seeing from a man's perspective how likely it would be for my ex's best friend to admit feelings for me. Seems unlikely from the responses. I can be at peace with that because I also don't want to hurt my ex. Jun 04,   I can count the degrees of hookup separation between my closest friends and myself, and usually come up with no more than two or three. dating a friend's ex Author: Lindsay King-Miller. Apr 14,   Is dating a friend's ex always the backstabbing and thoughtless move we make it out to be? it's no shocker that best friends who share tastes in things "Talk about a disaster-not Author: Kristen Dold.

But sometimes, you have to do inadvisable things for love. Think you could use some dating help, too? Search Search.

Mar 22,   More times than not, going after your buddy's ex is off limits and fully violates any type of guy code by which you might abide. But every once in a while, the universe speaks to a person and. Is it ever acceptable to date a friend's ex? I'm married to my best friends ex. They still get along and we all hang out. He was fine with me dating her and I did discuss it with him before hand. I'm dating a friend's ex right now. They broke up a decade ago though, but they still hate each other, so he doesn't come around as often. I'm not saying go ahead and jump your friend's ex right now. It all comes down to how your friend feels about it. If it's going to hurt her, is it really worth it? Remember, it's a tricky situation and if you don't do your homework, you could lose your best friend. Pay close attention to when it is and isn't okay to date her ex.

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