My Ex Is Already Dating Someone Else
I never meant to hurt you. Of course our relationship meant something to me. Will you ever be able to forgive me and give me another chance? He could then graciously forgive her and they can get back together again and live happily ever after. That scenario might be played out in a Hollywood romantic movie, but in real life, a woman will usually just get annoyed at her ex for being needy, desperate and demanding. You need to mind your own business and leave me alone.
The more you make her feel respect and attraction for the guy you have become since the break up, the less she will want to meet other men on Tinder, or anywhere else. He might then lose confidence in himself, in his value to her and in his ability to re-attract her. Women are instinctively attracted to the emotional strength in men and turned off by the emotional weakness.
So, remember: If you want to get your ex back even though she might already be on Tinder you need to believe that you can. You need to show her via your actions and the way you react and behave around herthat you know you are the man for her. When you think, feel, behave and act like a self-approving, confident man, you automatically become more attractive to your ex.
What strategy will work best? Should I use the No Contact Rule and ignore her for 30 to 60 days? The NC rule ignoring an ex for 30 to 60 days after a break up is usually the worst thing that a man can do. If you want her back, you need to actively re-spark her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you i. Don't waste time ignoring your ex or trying to convince her to give you another chance. This simple trick will change her mind and make her want you back today Dan Bacon is an ex back expert.
He has helped men from all over the world to get a woman back and he can help you too. Watch this free training and he will explain what you need to do to get her back. He has already helped countless men from all over the world to get a woman back and he can help you too. If you want him to help you, don't leave the site until you watch Dan's FREE video on how to get your woman back now.
Online dating the day after the break-up?
I am totally done with this BS. It's difficult and hard to be alone; I am feeling it right now. Its hard to move forward but we MUST. If anyones reading this now, you are the most important person and no one should treat you like that. You may be experiencing pain now, but know that it can only get better from her. That's what I'm trying to tell myself. I just close my eyes and imagine everything I want in your life right now Imagine what it would be like, and use that to keep you going and keep you living everyday.
There's this one youtube nooma video that I saw and it really stuck with me, but he quotes this verse "As a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool repeats his folly. I'm trying hard to practice what I preach, it won't be easy, but I won't give up on myself and knowing how great I am, please don't give up on yourselves too.
Don't let their bad character make you miserable. Take it day by day. Thanks again so much for sharing your story, you really made me feel more empowered to move on and be a strong person. I am going to move on and stop trying to see if he's online and look at his profile It's not worth my time anymore. Wow i guess everyone goes through the same things. Were all strong woman though you know? The love of my life cheated on me and we loved each other like no other those dating sites are horrible anyone can make one.
I dealt with that we met when we were both Okay well he cheated on me so i did the same it back fired on me now i have a beautiful baby.
I cant say that things are any different with my new guy. After we got into an argument broke up he sent me pictures of the girls he had messaged!! Like who tf does that. If he doesnt have any good for you guys. But make sure you dont spend any of your money on your guys. And check his profile if he hides it more than likely hes doing something behind your back. And honestly i felt so in love with my ex at 16 assumed i was in "love".
The worst is feeli g so comfortable looking into eachothers eyes. That sense of security. But that was lie to. Everything was ok, but we got into a big fight last month, and i texted him things like "I"m not a priority for you. I'm over it. THen two days later I tried calling him and texting him and he wouldn't pick up for 1 week. He just texted me, "you said its over".
He then went onto the dating site, and when I found his profile, I was just like Ok But then I just wanted closure and I apologized and he's still telling me he loves me even though he doesn't think it would workout long term.
He still uses words like "sweetie" and says "of course i still love you; you think my feelings just turned off for you? But is he just trying to keep my hooked because he's mad and wants to manipulate me? I know I'm acting like a dumb person now, thinking "oh maybe he still loves me etc I don't want to be one of those stupid people but I know i'm acting like one by still talking to him.
So i can't let this relationship ruin my studies I needed closure and i know people say you can never get closure, but my closure was a phone call just letting him know how I felt, all my feelings. Telling him how he can't text me as if we're still in a relationship, how hurt i felt, and that I knew he was online.
When a relationship ends, the woman usually cries to friends and family and takes time to move on. I've seen some women move on quickly to the next man but that's not the norm. These women cannot live without a man or a relationship. On the other. 4 possible reasons why your ex is already on Tinder, even though you just broke up are: 1. She is using it as a self esteem boost. After a break up, it's quite normal for a woman to feel lose confidence in her attractiveness to other men. If she is already dating someone else, she usually won't just drop everything with him and come running back to you on her own. So, what you need to do is get yourself ready to get on a phone call with her, get her to agree to meet up with you in person and then re-attract her at the meet up.
I'm not sure he heard me, but for me, I just wanted to be heard you know? I felt like i was telling my friends everything and asking them for advice but in reality I just needed to face him and stop lying to myself.
Even my friends said, there was NO point in telling him. I also didn't want to ever contact him again because of my pride. I wanted it to be me rejecting him in a sense? But I called him anyways and now I feel like a weights been lifted off my shoulder.
I can now just fully start to heal and move on. I tried my best and I can't do anything else to change the situation. Oh well goodnight. I have a test in 4. I pray i pass and don't fail because of this Hi All! I recently broke up with my girlfriend. We survived the hard separation, but it happened.
To soften the bitterness of parting, she and I have created profiles on dating sites. I created a profile on website Kovla, and she - on the website eHarmony. Meet new people soften the pain of loss, allow a little forgotten.
We'll start again meet later, but so far we need a break from each other. Honestly I could have written this myself. We were together a Year. But everything always has to be his way, if he's annoyed hell lash out and have his say, and then says he's not arguing n drop it. But why should I drop it when he's already caused the argument t.
So I want my say in response, but because I retaliate it's my fault we argue and the one always wanting drama. He has several issues, will never admit then. Anger issues over ridiculous things he'll get so angry. And talk appallingly - calls me all sorts his mum get spoken to awfully too but he says its just because he's angry and then calms down and all is fine again. He's very depressed etc but that's why we connected because we had a mutual understanding on that one. He would never come to mine I have my own house, he lives with his mum so hed expect me to drag my 4 year old to his and mess up her routine, so I stopped doin in because I couldn't put her through it any more.
But because j refused to do that, it's my fault we never saw eachother the last 6 months were like it. He's a smoker weed and the main reason he doesn't come to mine is because he can't smoke at mine. He'll never admit it. Petty argument escalated 2 weeks ago. Few exchanges back n forth, we still love eachother wish we could make it work blah blah blah, then few days ago I found out he had signed up online. I was heartbroken that we still haven't fully said that we're never getting back together and he's chattin with other girls.
I called him on it, he says that I don't k ke him that well if I reckon he'd jump into another relationship straight away. Says he only did it to see if he was liked. Last night I set up a fake profile ridiculous I know but I needed to know Low n behold he's messagin chit chat to me and the "fake" profile too!
Not flirting as such, but started making out tk this fake person that I still wanted him back and was upset bout breakup but what's the point in arguin constantly. I'm now stck in limbo, because he's keeping me hanging and still seeing what's out there too, How can he claim to beso devastated bout s breaking up that e has to take time off work and has nothing to live for, but in the same breath have such lack of respect for me that he's chatting to God knows how many other girls.
I really love this guy, and I just want to get over him, but can't because I feel like I need to know whether his feelings for me were even genuine. Sorry for essay, nobody else to talk to!
Your story has helped me out so much, I have been thru hell and back with my now ex boyfriend. We were together for 3 years, he lived with me for two. We met on Pof ugh and grew a very loving bond so I thought. Things seemed good, but than he started asking me to borrow him money, he would almost guilt trip me if I didn't.
Long story short, I fell into his trap and borrowed a lot of money to him. Well about a year into the relationship I found out he cheated on me and was talking with the other women daily. He begged me to not leave him a do counseling, which I did.
We went to counseling for a full summer. And ended up stopping when I caught him talking to her again I kicked him out of my house only for him to go talk to her some more and than like a fool I took him back a few days later, I don't get myself.
We spent another two years together, with me not believing him and catching him in lie after lie. By this point he'd borrowed 20k from me and just a week ago I came home from work to a note on tnt kitchen counter saying it's over- oh.
Add to this, he would pack up all his things and leave and come back all the time, this was nothing new, but every time he did this I would panic, cry, drink, cry, drink. I got so low that I felt like ending my life. I don't understand why I felt this crazy. Well, now that he's been gone for a week, he says he has no phone so can only email- lie again. Last night I went into my computer that I rarely use to configure my new fitbit only to see he didn't log out of his Gmail account.
Guess what, he already made a pof account and was chatting with other singles. That killed me. Three years and you can move on like that!
He wrote me emails that's week saying he misses me and still loves me?? Talk about confusing. I emailed him and called him out on his dating profile and he emailed back blaming me for everything and calling me horrible names, making fun of things I'd shared with him. Just horrible. I have decided to never speak to him again, but what I cannot figure out is why it hurts so bad and why do I still love him??? Hi, it's me again, the original poster. First let me just say wow.
I never thought sharing my story online or in real life would be so helpful to so many people. I actually checked back here today because I'm actually doing so well and thought I'd just give an ate. I actually cried twice today - once earlier because I couldn't believe how well I'm doing and how happy and lucky I am, and the second time when I came back here and read all of your stories. My heart goes out to you all in such a big way. I wish I could hug every single one of you and let you know it's going to be okay because I really believe it will be and I hope deep down inside you know that, too.
I've been saying this for a while now, but sometimes the absolute worst thing you ever thought could happen to you ends up being the best thing that could ever happen in disguise. It may be really bad, you may even want to end your life at times, but we never know what lies ahead and how amazing it can be if we try to make some changes and then give it some time. After all of the horrible things I've been through in my life, some of which I know many people wouldn't have been able to fully recover from, I am so thankful - thankful that I did recover, thankful that I found the love and support I needed to get through this, thankful that I know I don't have to be the victim and am mentally strong enough to live my life for me and not let that any of that affect me or dictate the way I live.
I'm thankful just to be alive and my best revenge to the people who wronged me my almost ex-husband in particular is living a wonderful, full, happy life.
Jul 12, So he's desperate and probably still likes you. This exact same thing happened with my ex-bf. We dated for about 2 years but he was just an idiot so I broke up with him and less than 2 months later he's dating this toehr girl but all of my friends are like, 'Yeah I don't like his new gsscthunder.com't tell anyone but he really went down from you.
Sometimes life doesn't turn out the way we thought it would - actually, most times it doesn't, or mine never did. But that isn't necessarily a bad thing even if it seems like it at the time. In the past year alone, I moved 3 times and will have to move one or two more before the year completes, I gave up my career when I was right where I wanted to be, I left my family and friends half way across the country, I got married and am still going through a divorce, I've lost a baby, I've been betrayed by the person I loved more than anything in the world on many levels, I've been abused and cheated on and lied to, I've been thrown out like a piece of trash while pregnant with his child, I'm pretty financially drained after everything, too, and I honestly couldn't feel any better than I do right now.
Sounds crazy, right? Hear me out. My life may not be perfect again yet, but I am trying the best I can to live for now and make it count. I've reconnected with all of my family and friends and even made new ones, and they are all very wonderful and I'm fortunate. I know that. It took a lot of effort on my part to make this happen. All of this did. I am even seeing a very nice guy now. I didn't think I would be able to for a long time but sometimes it just happens. I had completely forgotten what a normal relationship even felt like or that they existed.
I was so used to things being so bad that it felt normal and I was so deluded by it until I left and had some time away from it all. There is a world of difference in every possible way and you can see right away all of those things you forgot about. Once you're removed from the situation for a period for a period of time it really becomes crystal clear.
I may not have my career back on track just yet but that is coming along as well and I'm trying hard to make it happen. All of this did take quite a bit of time and it was horrible to go through, and I still have times when I remember something from the past and it brings me down, but those moments are getting less and less frequent now and much less extreme.
After the first few months, I've been improving faster than I ever thought possible.
It's hard because this is the first time in my life that I haven't been able to completely forgive someone for what they did, and I've forgiven people for plenty of things that I know not everyone would.
I suppose forgiveness is really something we do for ourselves, not the other person. I'm working on that. I'm a lot closer to forgiving him but it's a process and I'm at least comfortable with it now and it doesn't bother me anymore. When I would think of him, and there are still parts of me that miss things about my ex every once in a while, I just tell myself that I can't love a ghost.
By that I mean I can't love someone who doesn't exist or no longer exists because he just isn't that person anymore, or he was never the person I thought he was or that he said he was.
He proved that over and over again with his actions. Lesson learned. Always pay much more attention to someone's actions than their words. Words alone are not enough and can be deceiving. Anyway, once I got away from all of the bs that was clouding my vision, it really became clear how lucky I am and what a great life I'm making for myself again despite all the things that have happened to me.
Starting over is a good thing. It's hard at first but it feels amazing to be me again. In a way I had given my ex control by letting him keep me down and I've taken that power back now. Now I feel like I can be anything I want to be and do anything I want to do again.
I don't judge myself by what others have done to me. I don't live my life being afraid. I haven't let him change me permanently. I remembered and learned all over again how to hope and dream and believe and just be me. Instead of being distrustful of others and wondering what people's intentions are I've been welcoming them into my life with open arms and have not been disappointed as of yet.
If you think that you have changed for the worse because of someone, remember that who you are is still inside and always will be, just waiting to come out in the proper environment. You are only temporarily changed and only for as long as you allow it to happen. It takes a lot of effort and patience and it's a long process, but it will be okay.
2. She wants to move on before you do
To all of the people who read this or commented or shared their own stories, thank you. You are all wonderful and I'm glad we can give each other the additional strength and support we need to push us along through the tough times.
Sometimes advice is just something we ask for when we already know the answer but aren't necessarily comfortable with that answer. No matter what happens, I want you to know that you are a lot stronger than you probably think you are and you will get through this.
It will be okay. Maybe not today, and maybe not tomorrow, but eventually it will be okay. I just wanted to say a few things to the people who commented since my last post here in case any of you are still reading this.
I know I'm a little late to respond but better late than never:. Lita, you are great for sharing and I appreciate everything you've said. You hit the nail right on the head in that last comment where you said "I know everyone will have different outcomes and all, but I agree that sometimes we need to note the signs and stop ignoring them because we are blinded by the feeling, the comfort, etc.
It is sometimes hard to separate the feelings especially when so much investment has gone in. Sweetpea, you sound very sweet.
I feel for you for going through this for so long. I hope things have improved. You didn't say too much about your situation but it didn't sound loving or supportive at the time. Just remember, even if he did fight for the relationship this time around, it's a good sign but it can't be something that just happens some of the time. To be successful, both parties need to be putting in the effort and one person can't just care a fraction of the time. It takes work from both sides and not just when it's convenient.My Ex Is Already Dating Someone Else
Tryintobestrong, I really feel for you. I feel for you boy. You seem like you have a good heart. She told you a bunch of BS generic excuses for breaking up when the truth is she doesn't like you enough.
Move along here people. IM in the same boat here. I know she misses me, And that she still loves me, but she just wants something new because its "different" she wants me around and at the same time she doesnt. Young women cant make up their minds sometimes, She seems to think we argued too much and that wed never work again when i now know how to go about things to not argue at all or at least at a minium. Sorry, guys I have to put my two cents in as a female.
Chances are there was more to the break up than 1 either you are saying or 2 she was willing to tell you. Something you both have been fighting over for a long time but never resolved more than the dishes or cleaning and she didn't want to argue over it again.
When women leave a LTR they turn to other guys to help them get over the relationship as much as possible because it is very hard to heal a broken heart and another's guys attention helps make it more bearable. It helps remind a woman she is desirable to someone and helps pick your self esteem out of the gutter.
I don't know these women but I wouldn't assume she is sleeping with them. Most don't that I know of. Good luck! It's true that young females don't know what they want, they become confused and selfish like any young person would. My relationship ended even though i knew my ex was making up excuses to leave me; she knew she was hurting me at times, lying and it seemed as though she needed an excuse to end it once and for all. Many would think that 'well at least she's telling you', but to lie in order to break up a relationship is not the way to go about it.
My ex knew i loved her, was intimate, loving, supportive and commited, yet to a young female this means nothing and you'll only become a memory. For sure, I totally understand that we have to make ourselves happy, but the memories will never fade, and eventually in life the dumper will realise they've lost someone who loved them unconditionally.
When they get heartbroken in the future, they'll look back at the ones who made them happy. So many people facing a similar situation as me I have been together with my gf for 15 months, we were really the best couple, loved the same things, completing each other sentences etc. We both thought we were perfect for each other.
And then comes the change in her she is only 16 almost 17, and I'm 20 so I should have seen it coming. She told me she needs a change and that she is thinking about other guys even tho she loves me a lot.
Also said she loves being with me, but she can't if she is thinking about someone else. So after my attempt to make her realize it will pass her and things will get back to what they were, she left me. I guess she liked the feeling that someone likes her And I'm of course still crushed, I try not to think about her because I'm still young and I will of course find another, but that still doesn't change the fact that I love her so much.
I'm going for no contact even tho I have an urge to send her a message "Already? I was led on for weeks why this guy was on the sidelines. I was non the wiser and as soon as this other guy was a cast iron guarantee, I was chucked.
Like I meant nothing. She said she 'loves me with all her heart and always will', this was after s month of NC, I said if you did you'd be with me and not someone else, she replied 'I love you but not like that, there is a difference' LOL.
Cop out excuse. I've wished her well, I've made my peace, told her the door is open for building something new down the road if that's what she decides.
If not, it's NC, forever! She said she wouldn't contact me again and to take care and other things. I love her with all my heart but realise this is it. She may come back, but by then it'll be too late. I see some people are still posting on this thread I started a few years ago. Wanted to provide an ate. Long story short I never got back with the ex that I wrote about. I hit the gym, focused on myself with my career and eventually started dating other girls.
Every now and then the ex would reach out i think just to see if i still may be bung up on her. In some way i feel as if girls just want that option don't ever become someone's option! She is still with the older Dr.
She left me for. But I too moved on and after about 6 months of being on my own with occasional dates I started seeing a co-worker and are still together over two years later. I've been promoted in my career bought and rehabbed a house got a dog. All in all I'm happy.
Online dating the day after the break-up? I'm still low but my ex did exactly the same to me on-line dating as soon as we broke up but continued to flirt with me via email and play mind games it was like he got ego boost cos he knew I still loved him. Sometimes advice is just something we ask for when we already know the answer but. Ex GF just broke up w/ me 2 weeks ago and is already dating/sleeping with another guy My ex just broke up with me about 2 weeks ago. She is 25 I am 27 we have dated and we lived together about a . Most people that want to end the relationship, come to that conclusion long before telling their partner. And so, they grieve while they are still in the relationship. This does not necessarily mean that she started seeing someone before you broke.
And when I first wrote I thought all that would make me happy was getting that girl back. NC is two fold; he illusion is that it will get your ex to miss you and make her think about what she misses and could be missing about you which may prompt her to come reaching out and possibly come back. But the reality and most important ct of NC is that it allows you to take control of a hard situation and focus on yourself so you can focus on something more positive, improving yourself during a time of vulnerability.
For you young guys its hard to see that the girl that left was all that will ever be. I just turned 30 and don't claim to be a relationship expert but do feel I've been around the block and have experienced the ups and downs most people will experience with relationships. When I hear the year olds talking about losing someone, I think it's good. It allows you to grow and gain experience with yourself and allow you to get to know other partners.
The experience will better prepare you when you are ready to settle down. It also will make you self reflect and you can learn from your own mistakes on why the important person in your life at the time, left. In my case it was complaceny. It's easy to get lazy in a relationship after being together for awhile. Relationships can be work. Both partners have to take responsibility in keepin things fun and exciting and making the other feel appreciated.
Sometimes it takes a few relationships as you grow as an individual and to find what you are looking for in a partner. But in loss of relationships the chance that she could come back makes you hold on and can cause a man to go crazy nc is to help with that acceptance focus on your individual priorities and hope for the best.
If she comes back, great. But if not then you were just being tested and need to learn something to prepare for something better. Good luck to all and know that time heals all. Hi, thanks for ating. It's really nice that you took the time. Just one question - all in all you are happy.
Does that mean that 2 years later you are still thinking about your ex and miss her? The reason for asking is to know what to expect myself. It's now been 3 months since I split up with my ex she initiated it, yet I eventually walked away. To cut the long story short - we were together for just over 2 and a half years and saw each other every Wednesday and the weekend.
Yes everything did get repetitive which I suppose happens to every couple so I'm not losing sleep over it. We were the loving young couple, let's grow old together, get married, children, I need you in my life, you're the love of my life etc Yes I was to a certain extent because I loved her more than anything in the world, wanted to be there for her whenever she felt like SHE needed me and to also make her feel better which is what any loving boyfriend should do.
We haven't spoken since the breakup, she's been out alot I'm guessingand now seems happy I'm guessingeven though she's been saying things like "If I don't fight for what I want then don't cry for what I lost" Well yes I didn't fight, but this was to prove that she got me all wrong! I think I won! But at the end of the day I'm heartbroken because of all the broken promises and the lies she told. I initiated NC and so did she.
We just broke up and shes already dating
I miss her and love her to bits but I'm still slowly getting there as a person. I've now joined a footy team, play snooker and will be going to University next year. My point in all this is that NC is a win-win situation regardless of who dumped who, who loved who the most and the reasons for the breakup. I left by telling her she I will always love her regardless stating that I didn't hate her. But I just hated the fact that she got away with the excuses, the lies and accusations and got her closure when I fully didn't.
Which is why now I don't try and waste my time thinking about her besides now lol because it's her responsibility now to initiate the contact if she ever feels anything or wants to contact me ever again. But like Williaj6 says, do not be the dumpers option, which is one of the reasons why I couldn't stay friends with my ex. Maybe the dumpers do feel something for us in the future but by then it may be too late. I do pray for reconciliation in the future but who know.
Yea, all in all I'm happy with the way things turned out. I think it's normal to look back and wonder what if or what could have been with any of my serious long term relationships, not just about this girl that I initially started this thread about but any of the serious long term relationships that I could say I loved the girl.
I think that makes us human, and shows that those women, despite it not working out at the time did mean something to me.